Happiness

Time to smile. How do I know? Because there is no better time than now to smile.

When I see that the past is full of regrets, sadness, and loss, I take a deep breath and force a smile.

Smiles and laughter are the cure all, especially during the holidays. Sometimes we feel sorry for ourselves when we think about our past. That is when it is time to smile. Why smile? Because someone probably is having a more difficult time than you think you are having or have had, and your smile can give that person hope.

What’s the big deal with smiling, I mean who really is watching? Well, maybe you are the only one who knows you are smiling, but even if this is the case, there is one more person who is finding a way to make things positive and continue to move forward and one less person who is succumbing to the elements.

Does it make a difference? I think it does. Try it! Just smile and think about yourself smiling.

Hard to think negatively when you are smiling!

Merry Christmas!!!

When I turned 18 years old I thought I was an adult. I guess legally I became an adult, but mentally I was still a baby. As a matter of fact, adulthood is more of a cultural transition than it is an age. I found that out fast.

I have thus far been married and now I am finding divorce suitable. Yet, I didn’t foresee divorce as an actuality. I thought it was something that occurred for other people. Haha. I was wrong.

I have a beautiful son. He is the shining light in my world. Me and the little guy have a lot of fun. I have learned so much from him. I have learned to be more compassionate and that has helped the way I deal with people. I have also learned to open my heart a little bit more. I guess patience is the key. My father always told me that.
Now I am ready to embark on a new voyage. I am ready for new challenges. Flourishing and prospering is the best revenge on any past and that is my plan, TO FLOURISH AND PROSPER.

For all of those individuals who have participated in my past, actively or passively, THANK YOU.

My cousin Bryan would come over to my house and in those days, you had a turntable. We played Michael Jackson albums on the surround sound system throughout the afternoons and evenings attempting to do the moonwalk and trying to dance like the one we idolized.

The one impression that Michael Jackson left on me that probably not a lot of my friends or family know, was the purpose to do something about mankind. The very first time I saw the video Man in the Mirror, I broke down in tears. I was just about 5 years old and I remember telling my mom, I was going to put an end to suffering and war. It pained me so much to see all of the fighting and destruction that was portrayed in the video. Nevertheless, his video did change my life. I have done as much as I can to educate and bring about a better world through humanitarian campaigns and endeavors. I have seen things change. I have seen wars end. My family has been apart of efforts to rebuild and make changes.

I just want to thank Michael for that because although he doesn’t know it, he set me up for an adventure for a lifetime. I am convinced that although the road isn’t easy, although it isn’t the most popular road to take, someone needs to take it.

I took a look in the mirror and I still see that more needs to be done, but I won’t let his inspiration die in what I have done, I will let it live in what I plan to do.

I hope that this man has made such an impact in your lives as he has in mine.

Although the chances were slight that I would.

She was in a place I never thought she would be,

But she found a place in my heart right away.

Immediately the future was forecasted and she was in it,

The curls in her hair, her smile and her stare,

Into my eyes she would look and fill me with joy,

So foolish I am to have not fought for her heart,

So foolish I am to let her go so easily,

So foolish I am to stand and do nothing,

What a fool I am to not realize how she loved me so,

Love isn’t a test of IQ, it isn’t an examination to be passed,

Love comes from the heart, it is felt, it can last.

She stood across from me, trusting I would love her until the end,

I promised I would, but broke my word instead.

I never intended to cause what I did,

Now I vacillate on the streets alone, wondering if I can be forgiven,

If not for anything else, but my broken word to her.

So many vengeful things have filled my heart,

Hatred has crossed paths with my consciousness,

All in an attempt to make sense of what is already gone.

I never knew pain before this time,

To do what I did is such a crime,

To abandon someone who needs your love,

To leave them in mystery when they desire understanding,

To be cold when compassion is the answer.

The wound may never fully heal,

But for you who will understand these words,

The one filled with hatred really does love.

Affinity doesn’t naturally fade,

No one can walk away from where there was happiness and simply forget it.

What will last forever now,

Is my prayer that the one I hurt will find true happiness,

And that my final impression in her heart, mind, and soul, will be joy.

To Janeena

We are responsible for our lives. The things that happen around us we create. We contribute through actions, opinions, and omissions. If we can see it, we are a part of it in some form. The scope of responsibility lies in one’s ability to observe.

I mean anything is literally possible. I had a friend once who I trusted and I let him come into my family. As a matter of fact, I treated him like family and felt like he was a brother to me. We didn’t see each other all of the time, but when I had a difficult time in life, I would confide in him. I RESPECTED him for his ETHICS. In my eyes, he set a good example as a friend and a man. He had a great head on his shoulders and was finishing school and leading forward to accomplish his goals. I admired him more than any other friend I had. I hoped that one day me and him could work side by side together on all types of different projects. 

It was a tough time for me. I had lost money and property during the real estate crash in California, my relationship with my wife wasn’t going so well, and I was searching for the answer to what I needed to do to get myself back on my feet flourishing and prospering.

I was completely unaware of the fact that my friend John was actually interested in my wife Janeena. I must have been incredibly naive though to think that two adults could come together alone late at night in front of a TV and not build a relationship that was more than friendship. While I was trying to figure out how to strengthen our relationship through all the turmoil and difficulty we had gone through, they were building affinity through time.

Eventually, as time went on Janeena and I started to grow apart. No matter how much we tried to make things work, they didn’t. It is completely understandable that she would want to move forward and start a new life. The part that blows me away is that the man I called “a friend” decided that he would all the sudden start to develop uncontrollable feelings for her and that they would discuss the possibility of having a future together.

Now they are officially dating. It is very strange because I invited John into my home to help him so he wouldn’t have to pay a higher rent and could save money going back and forth from San Diego down to Ventura County. He would also take trips to see his girlfriend out in the San Luis Obispo area. Obviously that didn’t work out so well. The part that is even stranger is that John was around my family and son. I guess that our friendship wasn’t worth anything to him. I can for sure say that INTEGRITY means nothing to him. I cannot speak for Janeena because I probably did cause her a lot of pain and upset. So much that she would develop feelings and a relationship with John.

Perhaps I deserve the fate of having to experience the side of being betrayed. My karma is probably cleansing itself as we speak. The level of degradation is unimaginable to me.

The worst part about John doing what he did and starting a relationship with Janeena is the fact that he changed his cell phone number and made no attempt at any time to inform me of the matter. I found out through Janeena who was at the time finding ways to justify the action through accusations of me finding another woman.

As a matter of fact, when I finally found a way that I could make some money and start to take care of the family and expenses to keep things flowing, she made further accusations that I was not maintaining my personal ethics and that I was messing around and that she didn’t know what I was doing when I actually informed her that I was out to do some things and that she needed to trust me because I was making money. Apparently, I had burned the bridge of trust a long time ago.

So I am not sure what is worse, me being upset that this happened or that two people who I cared a lot about decided that their future was more important than the impact it would make on the person they would be affecting the most with this action. I have never been in the ring with a heavyweight boxer, but if I were and he decided to deliver a “low blow,” that would probably be the lesser of two evils than what this feels like.

The best of luck to the two and their future. Hopefully, things work out for them.

            It is amazing when you think about it. When you truly conceive God for the first time. How many of us see this as our creator or as the maker of universes. What does it take for us to recognize an all-powerful being who has cause over all of life. It didn’t take me very long as a youth in suburbs of southern California to figure that out. I really wasn’t surprised that there might be some form or something which governed how things worked and what they were. I wasn’t exactly sure what this thing was, there were still far too many arbitraries in mind for me to conceptually and practically understand this topic of conversation.

            I am aware of a greater being, but I am not sure if that is because I can see greater potentials in myself and I know that I can someday reach those potentials or because I see things that I am incapable of doing and because others are capable of achieving some of those things, that there must be something causing this. This may be the case for some of my personal unknowns.  This greater being, maybe it is a composite of all that is good, or even all that is bad. Maybe it is neither. Maybe it is nothing. This is all hard to say. I know one thing for sure and that is that I cannot answer these statements without testing any them clinically. That is one thing that I haven’t done.

            I have gained an incredible awareness of myself though. Even though I don’t necessarily know how I arrived at “NOW” I am sure that I caused most of it, if not all of it. I am even aware of lives before this present one. I am very positive to the fact that I am a spirit, completely independent of a body. I am cognizant to the fact that most people I talk to are spirits. I cannot say all, because that I am not always sure about, but I guess you can say there is some quantity of spirit where there is animated life.

            I am going to make a statement. I would like to state one possibility of God that I think we will all find interesting. I know we will find it interesting because it is something that seems incredibly true. Again, this isn’t something that has gone through thorough scrutiny or testing and it is an arbitrary. It is also a postulate. Something I find humorous especially when applying this postulate to the behavior of men and life. This is the possibility of “a god” not necessarily “the God,” okay. Remember, that when we mostly refer to God, we consider a higher power and greater being. A rule maker, the creator, etc…  God is the beginning and the end. God is cause and effect. Or is this true at all. I know one thing that is for sure. I am cause and I create effects daily. But is this necessarily true for God? There may be several types of Gods too. There may be several Gods for several universes. Maybe the God of this universe is just one being who made the rules. Again, I am going to ask you to postulate this and see what kinds of possibilities come from it. Truth may not evolve from this, but you may have fun. Please feel free to speculate, I am not making a bold statement to prove old doctrines wrong, just a new statement to share a new idea.

“God is the potentials that are presently out of reach by a spiritual being.”

These potentials can consists of actions, states or conditions of being, and materials (matter) or having. L. Ron Hubbard gives very thorough descriptions of these in a book called, Fundamentals of Thought.  Some may see this as a goal, but this is not a goal. A goal has the consideration that it can be achieved. Once one knows that something can be achieved, a road is made. This postulate is before that road. This is a viewpoint before possibility. This is simply potential. Life force obviously manifest in the being itself and is apparent in his/her actions towards a goal. But, what about before that.

            For example, I have always played baseball pretty well since a child. As a child, I conceived that I could play professional baseball and be one of the best in the game. I never once considered that this was impossible or that I didn’t have the ability. To this day, this is true. Some may call my ability as a pitcher “God-like.” Only to them is it a “God-like” ability. It is a potential they can perceive and observe, but cannot necessarily conceive themselves being, doing, or having.

            Let’s look at Jesus the Christ himself. He had no problems demonstrating abilities of healing of both physical and mental nature. These things were and are held to be miraculous by mankind. Why? Because mankind hasn’t demonstrated this ability causatively or under complete control. It doesn’t mean that it isn’t possible.

            But people still have this question inside they want answered. Who created me? What am I? How did I get here? How is my creator existing? Or is my creator existing? You do not have to chew on these questions to long to see that they are infinite explanations and interpretations to these. I have simply postulated one possibility. This one possibility can make one laugh. Or even make one cry. It can even make someone angry and enrage them. I am not trying to solve your problems, I am just sharing a postulate.

“God is the potentials that are presently out of reach by a spiritual being.”

            I do not see it possible that me and my body will ever take a ride to space and land on the moon. But I know that it is possible to land on the moon. I know that it has been done. Whether or not I will do that in this life time is completely an unknown to me and highly unlikely.
            Now if it were to happen all of the sudden, it would seem pretty miraculous. But exactly the point where it becomes a possibility is exactly the point where a path can be seen and exactly the point where an explanation can be derived and exactly the point of how it can be done, is done, and will be done.

            Even if, there were no mechanical explanation for something to have come about, an explanation can still be created. And if the event were to come about, observation would be necessary to make it true. If it were only you who saw something come into existence, then it would only be true for you, and we would call this a dream. If it were you and another who saw this come into existence, it would be true for 2 universes.  Yours and the others.  This is done daily using two-way communication. If it is done and perceived in the physical universe, and by others, it can be considered to be true and now has a demonstrable form.

            Here is another example. There are three men in a room. For our sake we will label them Man A, Man B, and Man C. So, Man A sees a cat walk by in the room. He communicates this, but because no one else saw it, it is still an unreality to them and a truth to him. Again, in his universe it is true, but in the other two gentleman universe it is non-existence except by form of two-way communication. So now, there is a theory, but no observation on their part. Man A, saw the cat in the physical universe, but Man B and Man C did not. All of the sudden, in the middle of their conversation, Man B sees the cat walk by. He communicates this to the other two men. Now it is true in Man A’s universe, Man B’s universe, and the physical universe by observation and demonstration, being that both men saw the cat walk by. Man C now having received this communication on a two way flow twice now, can consider this true and it will be so in his universe. He doesn’t apparently have to see it in the physical universe for it to be true and if he were to all the sudden see it in the physical universe, he would have already considered it true, so it really isn’t some big deal.

            For examples in logic, let’s just say that Man C still considers that a cat is not in the room. Well because of two way communication from both Man A and Man B, there is a possibility of its existence. If Man C needs to have his sense perceptions of the physical universe inflow the object, demonstrate to him that there is the existence and motion of a cat in this area for it to be true, than this man needs agreement from all 3 universes for things to be true to him.
            If I were to be very thorough on a theoretical level, I could acknowledge that he doesn’t have to be aware of his considerations for them to be true. What I am saying is that, just because he doesn’t think his consideration that there may be a cat there “is true” doesn’t mean we have to disagree to its existence. Because we know, that by two way communication, he already received the viewpoint or possibility of a cat in existence, this existence in itself is a form of reality or truth. In essence, you can even call it an actuality since it is being perceived by the being.

            Even the means by which we are capable of perceiving are actually very simple. One has a point to view from, and considers there is something to look at. I do not care if the individual does this with physical body eyes, or in the mind. There is still a point the individual is viewing from and there is still something to look at.

            Lets look at this postulate again.

“God is the potentials of existence that are presently out of reach by a spiritual being.”

This leads me to my next point. If the statement above is true, and it is true that an individual can perceive anything by consideration, and can form a path to achieve any thing, then the only God that could be in existence would be “You.”

            I am not attempting to be blasphemous here. Again, I am only sharing a postulate. You see, if you look at potentials, and let’s assume to be true that you did not create the universe.  Okay, let assume “Yahweh” did it. Well, that would mean, that everything you are perceiving is created by Yahweh. That too would mean, that all of your thoughts are created by Yahweh. Okay, that also means, that the rules or laws of universe, the matter you see, the space you are in, the time that is was and will be, is all created by Yahweh.  What is the reason to do anything. I mean, if you are a pawn, well I guess then you should just be moved by the “Mover Unmoved.” If you have no thoughts of your own, why think? If no one else is outside of this creation, why interact? I mean, it is all predicted and manipulated by some prior cause anyway. Personally, you not knowing doesn’t make any difference because your fate has already been determined by Yahweh.  Now again, lets assume that you are not the creator. That means, that the postulate above is True.

            Now that doesn’t mean for any long period of time. If I have never seen a spaceship before, than it is also true that I have never operated one. It can be learned quickly though. How quickly one duplicates and learns is referred to as aptitude. The person that would have the highest aptitude would be one who can assimilate quickly. One who assimilates quickly is one who can perceive very well and has no arbitraries standing between him and what he is viewing.

            Here is another viewpoint on this postulate. Being that it is true that you can perceive anything and can bring anything into existence at will, then that simply means that your potential is endless. This being true, than in order to have a game, you had to make yourself both the player and the potential.

Without these two elements existence would probably be boring. For example, if you created the game of baseball, and you were the pitcher, but you were also the hitter and the umpire, it would be awfully difficult to experience a real win or even a real lose since you would always be winning and losing at the same time. Well, then it must have been true that you decided you could lose. But once you decided you could lose, you also had to decide that you couldn’t know something. You could no longer be the pitcher, the hitter, and the umpire. You had to pick one. You picked being the pitcher. So now, you didn’t know what the hitter was going to do or what the umpire was going to call a strike. Now you have a game. You can win and you can lose.

            The lie then must be that you can lose. Wow. So let’s review potential again. It is something that one never achieves, but always reaches for. Once it has been captured a greater potential now exist. It is the closest concept of infinite beingness that we can conceive. What else is it? It may be the decision to not be. How can this be true? Well, if you look at Be and apply that to an across all of life, you would have a totality of existence being embraced. If you look at the concept of not be, you would have a breaking or reduction of this totality to a certain quantity. Interesting isn’t it. We decide to not be our goals, our wins, and our achievements prior to actually experiencing them. We decide to not have done particular actions prior to doing them. We decide to not have money, fame, wealth, prior to accepting these rewards. Why?

To have a game.

            So, what is God? Review the postulate above again in a new unit of time. If potential is the decision to not be, not do, and not have, we now have something to be, do, and have. So lets see what the postulate looks like when it is worded this way.
“God is the potentials(not beingness) that are presently out of reach by a spiritual being.”

Or

“God is, what ‘you’ are NOT BEING.”

            Take into consideration that in this text God is all embracing, meaning the Alpha and the Omega, Cause and Effect. This includes good and bad. So if God is potential, then what you are not being can potentially occur. That means it can be brought into existence into the experiential physical universe. The physical universe is what is agreed upon.

            In the matter. Energy, space, and time universe you see lots of people around. You can say lots of spiritual beings occupying bodies. Many are confined and do not know that technology exist to let them out. Did they really make the decision “to be” an individual and nothing else? It would seem so. I rarely converse with people out their who are operating more than one body. I am not completely aware personally of controlling or operating more than one body myself. That doesn’t mean that I am not, it simply means I am not cognizant of more than this one right now.

            Some ask, “How is that what I am not being exist outside of me?” Well, that is one of the tricks of this universe. You conclude that you have only one viewpoint when you are occupying a body. Since this body has a location in space and time, you consider that you are located in space and time. This limiting factor positions making you adopt the notion that you are no longer capable of other viewpoints. Then, you see other motions happening outside of your control, and assume other beings are making objects too. It becomes very easy to be entertained by particles outside of your control. You are interested and curious to see what is happening. You abandon your creations to indulge yourself in the creations made by others. Then you find yourself fixed to the physical universe.

            Where did your universe go? It seems to have shrunk in comparison to the physical universe. The magnitude and size of the physical universe is overwhelming and you find that you are confused and stuck. Your universe is still available for you to create, but now you are playing with others creations and at the disposal of other rules outside of your own. But how did this all just happen? It started when you assumed their was beingness outside of you. It may not have been done in a negative manner. It could have been done simply out of curiosity, but all of the sudden you found something you were not being, and that was another spirit. Do not confuse a spirit with the physical universe though. Oh, but this you do all of the time. You assume because someone else is moving the objects that you are obviously not in control of them. You also assume that you have no ownership for objects you do not move. You then see that there is no action on your part from an object that isn’t moving and assume that there are some actions that are out of your control. This must have been the very first omission on the time track of existence.

            It happened all so suddenly. There was no intention to harm it seems, but there also was for the first time the potentiality of a game. You had opponents. You could win and you could lose. What was it that you were playing for. Maybe for one’s marbles or bragging rights or whatever it was, but the prize was admired and desired by both opponents and was what created what we know as conflict of purposes.

            When you think of a fight there isn’t so much good and bad as two challengers in battle in which their skill in the playing of the game will determine the outcome. There is a vast panorama of games to be played. I have been playing the game of understand life in order to better win for a long while now. I found that winning some games like the most money, or the most property, or the nicest car, isn’t really what it is all about. I now find that just playing is good enough for me. Playing what I want to be playing, when I want to be playing it. Just the ability to walk onto a baseball field and pitch to batters, play catch, and make diving catches is fun. Riding on roller coasters at theme parks give me lots of joy. Going to the ball field with my dad and playing catch the same way today at 23 as the same as when I was 8 years old is very pleasurable. That is the game I want to master. I guess the Knowledge of how to be a Game Master is all we I have ever dreamed of.

            So who is God to me. I guess that aspect of myself that I wish I was. God is those things that I haven’t confronted. Or probably the most real and practical, my opponents. You can rid me of everything in my life. Take all of my valued goods and treasures. I wouldn’t be too upset. But if you take away my opponents you are destroying me. That may not be a bad idea. Probably some parts of my existence should be un-mocked, but as for now I will spend my time finding a better game to play, especially on planet Earth.

I plan to put this to test with surveys and with practicality. I am only doing it for fun. It would be great to prove it right or wrong. Either way it makes for an experiment that I have not done. It looks like something that would be entertaining and require thought.

One’s universe: viewpoint, thoughts, considerations, postulates.

The physical universe: that which is agreed upon.

Others universes: the viewpoints, thoughts, considerations, and postulates of others.

This has actually made real to me things that I had never looked at before such as the fact that not everyone has seen a map, a modern American house, water facets, computers, mathematics, a movie, heard a radio play, or had a latte. At least by one’s apparent viewpoint. So many arbitraries can enter right here and I do not want to open a can of worms.  Something that also can be looked at is the postulate that “God is the laws of the universe that are yet to be discovered.”

More will be discussed and looked at. I will share this with people on the internet and comeback to it. I will find a more workable statement but for now I know that these are two things that can be played with and rolled over. I also know that the first postulate above is definitely one to take for a ride.